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I went through the journey of grieving the separation from my relatives, adapting to a new country, learning a new language, and facing horrible bullies all through middle school.
Life got better in high school but the emotional wounds made throughout those years continued to hurt for years to come.
In 2016, I started to experience anxiety symptoms. The fear I felt was paralyzing and it only worsened with time. I felt anxious all of the time, watching the news terrified me and I could not control the fear. I was introduced to therapy for the first time ever by a dear friend. It made a positive impact and the anxiety became less intense. This experience is what inspired me to become a psychotherapist.
In 2019, the anxiety came back, only this time it was accompanied by my friend, La Depresion. The fear and sadness I felt were so intense, and the long sleepless nights left me wondering if death was the only way out. I felt suicidal and like other people, I was confused because I “had everything” I needed. How could I be so depressed, then?
I went back to therapy. This time, my new therapist used EMDR along with other tools. I couldn’t believe that after just a couple of sessions using EMDR, I was feeling better. I was no longer just surviving through the days and I was finally sleeping through the night.
This is where my healing journey truly began. I became aware of my trauma and how past wounds were still impacting me to this day. I continue to heal to this present day. It’s become part of my journey. Now, I am here because I have felt the pain and the hopelessness that people tend to hide under their successful lives. That’s how I hid my own pain.
I have to add that therapy is not all that has helped me heal. God and my faith in Him have led the way. He is the only one that has helped me navigate my healing process. Many times, my faith has suffered and I didn’t understand why I couldn’t just have faith. I didn’t know why I struggled believing that God’s love was real.
Trauma impacts the way you see yourself, others and also how you see God. I learned that He is not angry with me for feeling afraid nor does He shame me for lacking faith, that He doesn’t push me away for not being able to stop feeling depressed. I learned that He walks with me through the dark valleys. Faith and mental health go side by side. We are mind, body, spirit. As you chose to embark on a healing journey, you are healing all of the parts…including your faith.
p.s. Although I uphold my Christian values as centerpiece in my life, as a professional psychotherapist, I do not expect my clients to share my beliefs.
People often think that the cactus was created to withstand even the most desertic droughts. But, the cactus was not made to have to survive those conditions, rather it learned to thrive amidst difficulty. It adapts. It’s resilient. It uses its own internal resources to withstand all external conditions.
That’s my purpose. To help you discover your internal resources and use those to move through life’s challenges, only then you will experience sustainable healing.
…oh and I am always down for a good adventure.
Helping you heal from trauma and experience sustainable healing
© Leslye Flores 2023
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